Tuesday, December 16, 2008

United Talmudical Something

I used to sit in UTA 
the United
Talmudical something.
I used to listen to what they had to say
Trust me at that age you
could've told me anything.

They taught me all their crap
from A to Z
except, in that crazy place
they didn't even do it alphabetically.

I sat on their hard benches
listening to what they had to sell
watching ticking clocks
eagerly awaiting the bell.

After a while even I
bought into the plot
understand, I was just a kid
boiling in the pot.

I learned there
Snakes looking for female peers
Noah getting drunk
after he lived 120 years
of getting all animals to have sex in his trunk
Abraham trying to kill but missed,
and Isaac raped a three year old,
Jacob and Rachel french kissed,
don't look at me, it's what I was told.

Lot doesn't fuck with male angels
but his virgin daughters, that shall pass
Yehuda and Tamar,
they went to Amsterdam, I guess

Then came Moses, the hero you know
with laws about POW women
that make me think of Guantanamo
as a paradise of a prison.

Those people 
really molested my mind.
I was young and innocent 
just as they ordered my kind.

While kids were learning
about algebra and hash
I was being fed 
dark ages trash
while knocked up teens
were running for abortions
I was fed
their stupid distortions.

My mind was touched in the most uncomfortable places
by those teaching freaks they paid
I'm sure he wouldn't of hit me that day
if the night before he had gotten laid.

While other kids
were watching condom covered bananas
and flat maps of the spherical earth
I was learning
what my teacher said I learned 
before birth.

I was just a kid
listening to their voices
but, fuck it,
they are just teachers 
I don't need their choices.

I'll never forget you, 
Talmudical something.
after all we had a hell of a time together.
but, maybe it's not you just me
that thinks people deserve better.


  1. In time your blow-off
    For 21st Kislov
    I understand from the above
    You badly missed the love

    With all due respect
    I cannot connect
    Why abortion you would elect
    Instead of a Talmudic subject
    And to be exact
    Noah was of age 600, last time I checked

    A note aside
    I really take pride
    That you are one from inside

  2. Wow! real good poetry.

    I don't prefer abortions, I wish there won't be a need for it. What I tried to say was that look at "the problems" hasidic people point out about the secular world of youth, drug use, unprotected sex and some not so perfect teaching. I wanted to compare those problems to UTA's, (hopefully) showing that UTA's are far worse. I wanted to avoid hearing the familiar "They all end up with drugs" or "They always change what they teach". Some do, but at least they don't waste their time reading about how the world was created with two naked teenagers and a talking salamander pet.

    As for Noah, I remember my rabbi saying that he worked 120 years building his ark, that's what I was referring to.

    (I forget about 21 Kislov, I should've mentioned "becho butchu")
    Once again, great poetry.

  3. Poet:
    I enjoy your poems. Wonderful work. I liked the sentiment behind the Imagine Climbing a Tower piece.

    And by the looks of it you're quite the wordsmith in Yiddish, too.

  4. Thanks BD.

    I am actually working on another one in Yiddish, hope to see you again soon.

  5. Real great work. I am totally ;ost when it comes to writing poetry, but
    I really enjoy reading it. I was really entertained by its rythm and content. I am envious of the talent.

  6. Yup, UTA is the official name for all Satmar schools. United Talmudical Academy.

  7. Fabulous....

    Ha, reading it DID feel very familiar and close to my peice that you read...

    Ok, i'm an official fan...

    See you around...